If I could permanently ban one word from general usage, it would be “can’t.”
Not because it isn’t sometimes true — but because of how often we use it when it isn’t true.
“I can’t do this.”
“I can’t change.”
“I can’t handle this.”
“I can’t get better.”
Most of the time, what we really mean is:
- This feels hard right now.
- I’m scared.
- I don’t know how yet.
- I’ve been hurt before.
But our brains shorten all of that into one small, heavy word: can’t.
And when you say “can’t” enough times, your nervous system starts to believe it as a fact instead of a feeling.
For people who live with anxiety, “can’t” can become a cage. It convinces you that your current state is permanent. That this moment defines your future. That growth is off-limits.
But healing, progress, and change rarely come from believing you can do everything. They come from allowing the possibility that you might be able to do one small thing differently today.
So if I could ban one word, it wouldn’t be to force positivity or pretend life is easy.
It would be to make space for better language:
- “I’m learning.”
- “I’m trying.”
- “I don’t know how yet.”
- “This is hard, but I’m still here.”
Because those words leave room for growth.
And growth is where calm slowly begins.
It would be to make room for gentler language. Language that leaves the door open instead of slamming it shut. Language that turns “never” into “not yet.”
Because the words we repeat become the walls we live inside of.
And sometimes, the first step toward calm is simply choosing words that don’t lock us in.
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I agree that can’t is way overused! However, I personally wouldn’t want to “ban” it, I would rather have people to choose not to use it. If it’s their decision, they will rid themselves of it quicker and better!
You’re absolutely right. Well thought out!
Thank you!