This is something I didn’t notice until someone pointed it out to me.
I was talking — mid-sentence — and suddenly stopped to take a deep breath, like my body had just remembered it was allowed to breathe.
At first, I laughed it off.
But once I noticed it, I couldn’t stop noticing it.
I was holding my breath when I was anxious.
When I was concentrating.
When I was waiting.
When I was worried about how something would turn out.
Sometimes I wasn’t holding it completely — just breathing shallowly, barely enough to get by.
I didn’t do it on purpose.
I wasn’t even aware of it most of the time.
My body had just learned to stay tense.
In the evenings, when things slowed down, that tension became more obvious. My chest would feel tight. My shoulders would ache. I’d feel restless without knowing why.
For a long time, I thought that meant I was failing at relaxing.
What I understand now is that my nervous system had been living in “brace mode” for years. Holding my breath was just one of the ways it stayed prepared.
Not because I was weak.
Not because I was dramatic.
But because I had learned to protect myself quietly.
Once I started noticing that pattern, I stopped criticizing myself for it.
Instead of saying, Why can’t you just relax?
I started saying, It makes sense that your body learned this.
That small shift changed the way evenings felt.
Not instantly.
Not perfectly.
But I stopped fighting my body and started listening to it.
If you notice yourself holding your breath, clenching your jaw, or staying tense even when the day is over, you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re responding to something your body learned a long time ago.
Tonight doesn’t need fixing.
It doesn’t need effort.
It just needs awareness and gentleness.
For now, let this be enough:
You noticed something.
You stayed curious instead of critical.
And that’s a meaningful step, even if it feels small.
💭 Have you ever noticed tension in your body that you didn’t realize was there until things slowed down?
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I can really relate. I struggle with trusting God fully, and my body holds all that worry and tension too. This reminds me to pause, breathe, and let Him carry what I can’t. Small steps, but they matter.
All steps matter no matter how big or small ❤️ one breath at a time
As a “functional trainer,” one of the first things I teach folks is to not hold their breath. In training, the most important reason is that if you are exerting pressure (lifting) and you hold your breath at the same time then your blood pressure shoots way up which can cause a stroke!
Why do we do it and sometimes not even know we are doing it? Because for a second or two it actually helps make us stronger. But a “stroke” is a high cost of just being a little stronger in one exercise for one set!
I think it’s wild how often we hold our breath without even realizing it, whether it’s during exercise or moments of stress and anxiety. It really shows how automatic our bodies’ responses can be. I appreciate you adding this insight!
I agree with you! You are very welcomed!